So millions of expensive flowers, desserts and romantic trips are sold in the name of Valentine’s Day. Everyone wants it to be perfect. Relaxing, funny, romantic. How does it turn out so bad then? Well, here’s the recipe.
Get a stressful job with lots of overtime, an annoying landlord (alternatively, annoying neighbours suffice, too) and an irritating, long commute to work each day. Add some simple, but necessary tasks to each day – like shopping, washing your clothes, ironing or repairing the dripping tap. Mix in some traffic jams, incorrect gas bills or unexpected expenses. And there you are: a tired, frustrated person at the end of each day – which is that part of the day you spend with your partner. Some people just call it life.
So life is happening. It’s not a bed of roses. But Valentine’s Day comes – with lots of roses in the first place. And it’s supposed to be romantic. Just the two of you, spontaneously talking and laughing and being at a breathtaking, spectacular place. You try to book something. Something that’s both exciting and relaxing. And, of course, romantic. But everything is overbooked. Those places which are not (yet) are ridiculously expensive. But it’s Valentine’s Day, you have to come up with something special. You pay a fortune, but it will be fascinating.
The day that’s supposed to be fascinating finally comes. Your expectations are sky high. You hope nothing can go wrong – you paid the price. But it just doesn’t turn out the way you planned. You are together, but you forgot how to enjoy your time together. You try to talk, but you don’t know where to start. You try to be cheerful and entertaining, but all you want is a long sleep. Why most breakups happen during the holidays? Maybe at Valentine’s Day, too? What can you do to avoid this?
First of all, forget about Valentine’s Day. Yes, it’s important to have special days, but they seem to be overrated. It’s important to celebrate, too, but that doesn’t mean life is perfect. No, even that special day might not be perfect, no matter how much you want it to be. And the best thing you can do is leaving your high expectations behind.
Talk with your partner and loved ones each day. Spend time together every week. Celebrate the small things: that you finished your 30 days yoga challenge, accomplished your weekly goal, or that your favorite writer published a new book. Watch movies and read books together. Spend time in nature. Dream together. Talk not just about goals and achievements but doubts and failures, too.
Make your lives and relationships happier throughout the year, then you don’t need to expect that much from a single day. Then it won’t be a disaster if you catch flu on Valentine’s Day. Or your car breaks down on Valentine’s Day. Or if you don’t do anything special, just have one of your regular cheerful days together.
What about our Valentine’s Day this year? It’ll be the three of us this time. Csaba and me – and our 5 months old little boy. We’ve never done very special things on Valentine’s Day. Least travelling – prices are ridiculous. But we always do something together – and we stay with this tradition.
Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Any plans for this year?
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